(no subject)
Feb. 1st, 2006 08:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prismakaoshere it is, a blast from the past, tips for Valentine's day from long ago:
it's that time of year again; the time of year that taken males and single females hate. that's right, it's almost valentine's day. Well, not for another whole week, but when you walk through the grocery store and are immediately greated by giant red/pink/white displays of chocolate, roses, etc...how can you not stop and think to yourself, "god, this is worse than christmas"? remember, guys, there are worse days to show your affection for a romantically attractive human. like the day of their grandmother's funeral.
-if you give a girl roses, do not give her eleven. she will wonder where the other one went.
-stuffed animals that scream "love me tender" are not cute. no matter what.
-check that she even likes chocolate before splurging on a box of godiva. you *were* going to splurge, weren't you?
-learn to differentiate between 'coral' and 'pink' roses and 'red' and 'dark red' roses. pink is not acceptable under any circumstances, and red is only partially acceptable (due to the cliches surrounding it). if you think red roses are too forward, try traditional white.
-flowers other than roses are okay, with the exception of carnations, since carnations are considered the cheap imitation of roses. unless she *likes* carnations.
-giving a girl clothing is not a good idea under all but the tiniest of circumstances. don't risk getting killed. gift cards are more acceptable but still carry massive risks.
-dinner is a cliched but decent idea; make reservations weeks in advance, since everyone will have your same brilliant idea.
-sweet handwritten notes are fabulous...unless they're stalkerish scary
-good surprises are good...
-extravagant gifts are generally bad...don't spend more than your college tuition.
-in our fantasy world, guys sing songs to the girl; this is not a viable option unless other people think your voice is decent. if so, selections such as "lady luck" "fly me to the moon" and other sinatra favorites are generally good. stuff like "closer" by nin is not a good idea. think soul singers.
-stubble burn SUCKS. consider shaving right before you see your girl. if you don't, it's very possible you may only get a half-hearted peck on the cheek for all your efforts...and that would just be a shame.
-flowers should only be bought "just because." don't try to sell yourself, she won't buy it.
-avoid commercialism altogether...just make your gifts and get everything right. make sure you start weeks in advance.
and now, the phrase of the day, brought to you by brach's sweethearts: "kiss me"
it's that time of year again; the time of year that taken males and single females hate. that's right, it's almost valentine's day. Well, not for another whole week, but when you walk through the grocery store and are immediately greated by giant red/pink/white displays of chocolate, roses, etc...how can you not stop and think to yourself, "god, this is worse than christmas"? remember, guys, there are worse days to show your affection for a romantically attractive human. like the day of their grandmother's funeral.
-if you give a girl roses, do not give her eleven. she will wonder where the other one went.
-stuffed animals that scream "love me tender" are not cute. no matter what.
-check that she even likes chocolate before splurging on a box of godiva. you *were* going to splurge, weren't you?
-learn to differentiate between 'coral' and 'pink' roses and 'red' and 'dark red' roses. pink is not acceptable under any circumstances, and red is only partially acceptable (due to the cliches surrounding it). if you think red roses are too forward, try traditional white.
-flowers other than roses are okay, with the exception of carnations, since carnations are considered the cheap imitation of roses. unless she *likes* carnations.
-giving a girl clothing is not a good idea under all but the tiniest of circumstances. don't risk getting killed. gift cards are more acceptable but still carry massive risks.
-dinner is a cliched but decent idea; make reservations weeks in advance, since everyone will have your same brilliant idea.
-sweet handwritten notes are fabulous...unless they're stalkerish scary
-good surprises are good...
-extravagant gifts are generally bad...don't spend more than your college tuition.
-in our fantasy world, guys sing songs to the girl; this is not a viable option unless other people think your voice is decent. if so, selections such as "lady luck" "fly me to the moon" and other sinatra favorites are generally good. stuff like "closer" by nin is not a good idea. think soul singers.
-stubble burn SUCKS. consider shaving right before you see your girl. if you don't, it's very possible you may only get a half-hearted peck on the cheek for all your efforts...and that would just be a shame.
-flowers should only be bought "just because." don't try to sell yourself, she won't buy it.
-avoid commercialism altogether...just make your gifts and get everything right. make sure you start weeks in advance.
and now, the phrase of the day, brought to you by brach's sweethearts: "kiss me"
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-02-01 05:59 pm (UTC)the list of tips makes me think: is it really worth it? single males don't know how good we have it :p
no subject
Date: 2006-02-01 09:16 pm (UTC)hang tight, sam.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-01 09:50 pm (UTC)When I was asexual... that year was too good to be true... so completely free from all this bullshit heterosexualness. Cursed meat and meat products!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-01 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 01:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 01:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 01:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 07:16 am (UTC)