(no subject)

so many people i know are afraid of being lonely and not making a connection with anyone in the world... i can't say that i blame them, since i'm definitely a member of their ranks. The sad part is, so many people (and here i'm including myself again) are afraid to reach out and try to trust/love someone else. it's the whole "i've been hurt and i can't be hurt again no matter how good it feels in the interim." this is, unfortunately, very understandable, and it's amazing to me that people out there are still falling in love and still finding people who they want to share large amounts of the rest of their life with.

i have been lucky.

i have friends who i would do anything for, and they'd do the same for me. people i know i could call if i were in the direst straits ever and they would try to help. but, ironically, i'm not sure that i would call them since i wouldn't want to drag them down into my own personal ginnungagap when i'd be convinced i could do it myself. and because my friends are just that good, i'm sure a lot of them are saying, "hey, but that's when you *should* call us..." iz sometimes difficult finding friends you know you would do whatever you could for them, but i have mad skillz in this area... (i found another recently, sort of by accident...) falling in love is more difficult than loving someone. i still feel like there's a huge distinction between being in love and loving someone, and i'm still feeling out the fuzzy distinctions. "It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four letter word."

there was a point to this, but i think it got lost among all the self-musing that i didn't write down. i'll be concise then, at least as concise as i ever am. i'm very very terrified of losing myself, and people are good tools for escapism.

in even shorter type: i love my friends, you all r0x0r my world.