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This made me smile. I was attempting to explain to someone that I tend to plan cleaning and doing work til the absolute last minute.

His response: "I just pictured in my head me showing up like a minute early, and knocking on the door, and you opening it and being all messy, and your place is like on fire, and then you slam the door in my face, and say "Gimme a minute." Then in a minute you open the door again, and everything is perfect."

That's so totally me.
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And the best part of the JoCo show was that I ran into [ profile] semer and [ profile] wyterabbit randomly while standing in line!!! i hadn't seen either of them in ages, so it was good to say hi.
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This is a late-but-better-than-never-PSA: Valentine's day is in two days.

If you haven't started planning to do something for that special someone, you've got very little time to put something passable together. If you've declared you're not doing something, please make sure that your special someone is also agreed on this point, else you may end up with a lot of hurt feelings and a general air of "But you forgot me!" Even though I'm always a champion for the original, unique Valentine's Day Semi-Surprise, I might suggest that even traditional dinner and a movie works as a stop-gap in the direst of times.

I, meanwhile, have plans of an extremely unromantic sort. I'm going to an anti-love choral cabaret in the city, with a friend who is most definitely a friend, to watch [ profile] darkest_light sing.

This post was going to be a "Romance is dead, here's why I say that, and it's your responsibility to go resurrect it" post, but really, y'all already knew it. And if you didn't, well, comment and let me know so I can proceed with ranting.
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First, and most importantly: Happy birthday, Nodya!

An entry containing stuff about my computer, my wireless router, lentil soup, the merits of brownies versus boardgames, and the Superbowl. )

Geez, this entry turned out awfully long. ::throws up an lj-cut::
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Funny. The more you think you've got someone figured out, the more likely they are to surprise you. Except if you've got me figured out. Once that happens, you're home free -- I'm pretty predictable. It turns out that you can't really box people into nice little square-shaped containers.

I'm very sick of this rain. It causes the ants to panic and flee their flooded homes for my apartment. I'm not really okay with that. And also, cold.

My friend is loaning me a lot of DS9. The show was interesting at first, but has since improved even more so since my friend told me that the same people who created Battlestar Galactica did DS9. Ronald D. Moore and Bradley Thompson wrote and/or produced the majority of DS9 and BSG. Anyway, it's totally bizarre. Chief+Keiko == Chief+Boomer; Changelings == Cylon v.2; Julian Bashir == Gaius Balthar; Kira == Starbuck; human race fighting for survival

Try not to tell me giant plot spoilers about either show in the comments -- I'm halfway through Season 4 of DS9 and I don't remember anything from after the end of season 2 of BSG -- but what do other people think?

Well, you found me. Was it worth it? The only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart...
This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you? don't even care, do you?
Please proceed into android hell.
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If anyone ever asks how music can be your boyfriend, just send them this link: (warning, semi-nsfw, but tasteful. ish.)

Today, I cleaned, bought a caltrain pass, avoided temptation, played nice, and made appearances. I think this is probably a good thing. I've noticed, however, that I'm developing a "party" persona, who takes over my body and expressions whenever I'm going to be around groups of people, or people I don't know well. She's cheerful and bouncy and reminds me oddly of Lesley. Also, she talks a lot about herself. I'm not really sure whether I'm okay with this. I'd honestly rather listen to other people's problems, or talk about some random idea anyway. I just can't seem to come up with topics of conversation which allow me to have any sort of back and forth.

New Year's Resolutions:
1) Don't be afraid to make mistakes. If you end up looking like a fool, you end up looking like a fool, and several days later, you'll laugh about it just as hard as everyone else does. As Tommy in Risky Business says, "Sometimes you just have to say "what the fuck" and make your move. What the fuck gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." That is, try new things.
2) People are good. Friends are better. You can never have enough friends, and you should strive to keep the ones you have.
2a) Family are the friends you can't get rid of. Remember that and appreciate it more.
3) If you get around to it, exercise. Having endurance is good for more than one thing. Remember to eat better in any case, even if exercise fails you.
4) Be careful of what you do and say. People can get the wrong impression. If you think it's a bad idea, it probably is. You are defined in part by your past actions, and you never really know who's watching/reading.
5) Alcohol is fine. With dinner. In small quantities.
6) The Small-Cobey uncertainty principle and corollary remains in effect. Stop trying to game the system. It's like trying to find a particle and know how fast it's going at the same time. Doesn't work.
7) Feeling things means you're human. Don't try to not feel. This may be related to #1.
8) Love yourself before you try to love someone else. They aren't a substitute for things you feel you lack. And you aren't a substitute for things they feel they lack.

They're not really measurable. I could succeed or fail at any of these and twist it so it looked like I failed or succeeded. But they're resolutions, of a kind. At least, good things to think about?
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Merry Christmas, all. Yes, I know I'm a few days late, but it's been hectic. There was my brother's birthday, then mom's birthday, then Christmas, then a 12 hour drive to Massachusetts, then a 4 hour epic cleaning of my mom's laptop, and it's off to DC tomorrow. So needless to say, it's been busy, and I should really be in bed since I need to be up in six hours.

In any case, I got to see Jeremy tonight. Turns out that even though there's a New Year's party this year, it is unlikely that I will go, being that his girlfriend (who seriously does not like me) will likely go. Frankly, since I feel it's likely she'll try and kill me if she ever meets me, I'm kind of okay with just hanging out with Jer tonight. Although, honestly, she really shouldn't worry about him -- he is dating *her*, not me. Don't you remember? We had that whole kafuffle last year and he chose you over me. Sending text messages in order to interrupt his hanging out with me just makes you look psychotic. ANYWAY, whatever. I'm done with the dramatic angst for now, although if that other damn boy doesn't get out of my dreams, I will go insane.

My fishtank apparently is still doing badly -- the water's gone all cloudy and I'm not anywhere near it to fix it. Thanks to Mike, though, they did get a water change. I can only be glad that someone actually was around to feed my fish. Thank you, o wise sir. I'll check it when I get back and try and fix it.

In terms of (bandito?) loot from this Christmas, I received far too many DVDs (including Serenity special edition, BSG Razor, Buffy & Angel) and far too many books (including the Goodkind book, and the remaining two books in the NightWatch series) and also an extremely nice pair of earrings and a wallet. I gave my brother a the giant lego set of the Millennium Falcon and an awesome dragon, and other neat stuff to the rest of the family, including a lot of Google stuff. It's problematic when you work at a neat company -- people just seem to want Google stuff from you.

Right. I'm off to bed, to arise early and drive 8 hours to DC with my dad. In a minivan. Hope I'll have the right set of music to keep myself from going insane.

New Year's in a few days. Guess I ought to start thinking about my resolutions or somesuch. Ew, committments. I'm really not any good at those.
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The holiday party was extravagant and involved bad mashups of 80s hair metal and 90s hiphop. There were some good mashups too, but I can't believe that the dj mangled Journey quite that badly. My date was fabulous and lovely and a terribly good dancer.

I have determined also that I would make a very bad submissive.

Henry is here, although bereft of hat, which is important, given how cold it is outside this week.

And finally, Scrabulous is fun.
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Thing I'm happy about: Henry's coming to visit in little over a week! And he's staying for a week! And it'll be awesome to see him and stuff.
Thing I'm less happy about: It's impossible to find a station that does techno remixes of Christmas carols. The closest I've come is somaFM's Christmas lounge, which has a few chillout remixes. Also, I think there should be a station that does hiphop remixes of Shakespeare. Coz that would just be awesome.
Thing I'm working on: Digging myself out of piles of work so that I can go to BCBG's & VS, do my laundry, and pack before going to bed.
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Thanksgiving! It was of the awesome, with tons of ridiculously good food all made by [ profile] onetruedavid He has pictures, which he should post.

Thing I am happy about: good friends, good food, lack of flying.
Thing I am less happy about: I think I ate enough food that I actually feel sick now.
Thing I am working on: Screw working, going to bed.
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My friend Casey just got engaged to the most perfect guy of all time. I cannot express to you how golden this couple is. I am so incredibly happy for her! :)

Thing I'm happy about: One day more, and then it's the weekend...
Thing I'm less happy about: One day more. It should be tomrrow already, thank you.
Thing I'm working on: I still need to unpack. But at least I bought some plane tickets.
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Really, I should start this (and every?) entry like this: "OMG, NO ONE LOVES ME. I'm so alone and unloved and unwanted and as terribly overweight as a bloated beached whale. And, some other angsty stuff."

At least, that would be true, if I listened to dB. But since I'm not listening to him (LALALA, NOT LISTENING (at least on this point)), this entry will be full of light and princesses. Actually, I'm lying. That's all the light and princesses you get.

So I got those pictures developed. They were very odd and consisted of Fleet Week from 2005, Halloween from 2005, my apartment when I first moved in, and a picture of a brachiosaurus in the Chicago airport. Not worth digitizing, but worth developing the film.

Thing I am happy about: 3 day week! Lots of stuff to get done, but it's better to be busy than bored.
Thing I am less happy about: Again, it seems like a win-win day. Something will probably happen to change my mind on my way home, but until then...
Thing I am working on: Finishing up that work that I was looking at. Also, figuring out what I'm going to wear to the holiday party. Suggestions?
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I was very unmotivated yesterday -- I think the rain dampened my spirits. Whatever the case, I ended up spending ~90% of the day in my apartment, alternately watching Deep Space 9 Season 1, reading a book, and staring at various lyrics online. I didn't actually leave the house until 10pm, when I was invited to go play board games at Green & Brown's, so I went over and we played Monopoly. I know, group of 5 gamers, and we decide to play Monopoly! Weird. In all fairness, there was a tiebreaker between Monopoly and Apples to Apples. No one had played Monopoly in a really long time, so it was kind of fun...

I honestly can't remember the last time I played Monopoly. I feel like it must have been sometime during freshman year of college or the summer after, but I can only remember playing Monopoly in Saudi with Kati. We'd eat cheese puff balls, read Calvin and Hobbes, and play epic games of Monopoly. I used to always play with the horse and cowboy when I was little, so that was my piece of choice. Anyway, David took an early lead, but by the end of it, I had rent immunity on enough properties and had enough well placed properties of my own that I ended up with total assets of over $16,000. Which is a lot of money in Monopoly, but not as much in real life. I doubt somehow I'd be able to build a house for $50, even if it were on Connecticut Ave. In any case, the game was relatively short (aka, 3 hours) since David and I decided not to duke it out after the other three players went bankrupt, but then there was some Smash and I didn't get home until 330am.

I love watching Smash. I have no idea why. I don't really have any interest in playing it, but it's fun to watch. This is odd, since I didn't play any of the games that the characters are from, so I'm constantly asking, "Who's that? What's that stage from?" Anyway, it reminds me of my last year at Stanford and going over to EAST and hanging out with various people in the lounge playing Smash. I don't really miss being in college, but I really miss having the ability to be online at 3am and find someone else to hang out with who's a five minute walk away. And how large group things just kind of materialized of their own accord -- now it's all about the planning. Ah, we could go here, we could do this, etc etc. Which reminds me, I should try and organize a Girls' Day with the few in-the-area girls and go up to the city or down to Santa Cruz or something.

Thing I'm happy about: sleeping in until 1145. Sleep is fantastic. Also, digestive biscuits with nutella are AWESOME for breakfast.
Thing I'm less happy about: This cold. It was supposed to clear up rapidly, but it seems to be hanging on a week later.
Thing I'm working on: Errands and packing. I'm going to NYC tomorrow night for a week...
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I got to see Daniel last night! And sing karaoke really really badly off-key! And drink turquoise drinks! It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.

I'm wearing a ridiculously awesome outfit right now -- popart graphic top with grey, black and red circles on a field of white, dress pants, an awesome white half-trench, and my new shoes (patent leather mary janes). it's kind of an odd outfit for me, but it looks good if you had no idea that this wasn't the kind of thing that i often (ever) wear.

Thing I'm happy about: my three hour meeting at 9am this morning during which i was helpful and productive!
Thing I'm less happy about: it's been a good day. Shockingly, I have little to be less happy about. Maybe that I oversteamed my milk in that last latte. Or that my feet hurt a little from these shoes.
Thing I'm working on: getting through the next hour of work.
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Tonight I get to hang out with The Other Woman. Actually, in this case, I might be the other woman, but whatever. It's still uncomfortable, and I hate drama. (Actually, you could have guessed this last from the millions of entries I've written saying that recently.) The rest of the day has been relatively good. I was productive at work, and lo and behold, I did (mostly) clean my apartment. You can see the floor now. It's actually beige, not miscellaneous-stuff-colored.

Thing I am happy about: Right now? This: Also, the fact that after 6 hours of work, my apartment is liveable again. Good thing, too, since Alexandra is spending the night.
Thing I am less happy about: The price of airplane tickets to various locations, including but not limited to Ohio and Japan.
Thing I am working on: Maintaining a good attitude and optimizing awkwardness.
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I am sick. Or rather, my throat hurts and my muscles ache. I know exactly where I caught it from too, and that's an amusing story in and of itself. It's actually not that amusing, so I won't bore you with the details.

Work continues apace. My ability to do said work continues less avidly.

Drama sucks. Anyone who says differently is either lying or a sociopath. I believe I am acquiring a long list of neutral locations down in the Penninsula and up in the city. These locations will come in helpful when I need to have awkward conversations.

Thing I am happy about: Meeting new people who seem cool, talking with them, and discovering that they are, in fact, cool.
Thing I am less happy about: Being sick and still needing to be at work because I have Important Meetings.
Thing I am working on: stifling jealousy when I have no right to be jealous. This is much harder than I would have suspected.
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In an amusing follow up, it turns out that Dobromir did get his trip to Hawaii, so I don't feel particularly bad about not having a birthday present for him.

The party was good, I drank a little more than I originally wanted, but still did not get drunk, and drank significantly more water/non-alcoholic things than alcoholic drinks. And also, pomegranate martinis are a generally bad idea. Bookstore crawling was also good, and, although I did not pick up anything particularly random, a good time was had by all. It culminated in getting chicken adobo and being very very full by the time I went to the party.

I also found a new BFF 4-eva. Just don't ask.

Thing that I am happy about: that extra hour of sleep.
Thing that I am less happy about: people drama. It gets tiring after a while.
Thing that I am working on: Having patience. And losing some of the bitter edge to my sarcasm.
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Hello, hello, hello! Welcome to the Land of Expectations, to the Land of Expectations, to the Land of Expectation. A Joyous and Happy Birthday to Dobromir, who occasionally reads this. May the monkeys not eat you and may you get that trip to Hawaii you were hoping for.

In other news! I am going up to the city today to go on a used bookstore crawl. Can anyone say "DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER?!" For truly it is said: "Lead me not into temptation, for I can find it myself in much less time." But that is okay! After the book crawl, I will have dinner, for truly it is said: "The hungry person makes bad decisions and gets drunk quicker on alcohol." And then there will be pre-gaming, which is not actually gaming in the sense of gaming, but more in the sense of drinking games gaming, which is less interesting to most of my flist. I plan on drinking mixers only and being laughed at by a 21 year old with a blonde afro. There may be some tequila shots involved perhaps when the party actually gets started, but I am on a mission to get myself back to the Penninsula by the end of the night.

Thing that I am happy about: BOOKSTORE!! Actually, I'm really psyched about this -- no one's ever told me that I'm allowed to go into lots and lots of bookstores, so yes. This is good, although by the end of the day, my apartment may collapse under the weight of all the paper that I'm bringing into it.
Thing that I am less happy about: Tomorrow is a work day. Yes, I know it's Sunday, but when something needs to get done by Monday morning at 9am and working until 8pm on Friday wasn't enough to get it done? The weekend must be partially sacrificed.
Thing that I am working on: Cleaning my apartment. Right now? It's taken me forever to find my wallet. Things like that are bad.
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Pluto has white spots on him. Likely ich. Maybe mouth fungus. Likely means, all my fish are going to die. Yes, there's salt in the tank. Yes, I'm going to the pet store tomorrow to try and fix it.

In other news, [ profile] onetruedavid failed his reflex save against the whipped cream attack of the hot chocolate he happened to encounter. It was really funny.

Got a weird package from my parents consisting of random hiking gear they thought I should have. The sleeping bag must be from the 80s. I have never seen it before in my life, but they assure me that this is the sleeping bag they bought for me not so long ago. The medkit expired 7 years ago. All of it smells like my basement.

I think I give up for now. I had a great idea for a vignette, but I've since forgotten it. I believe it was a story about the Gates of Hell or a description of the Deerfield River.

Also, I need to go write bad love poetry about well-oiled gears and ink spatters.
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There was a wedding (congratulations to Nancy and Albert!!) and hanging out with gamers and making pizza in the city and getting hit on by a 21 year old and sleeping on a loveseat and more hanging out with gamers and end of World of Warcraft tabletop and pretty views of the Bay late late at night and tapping a deer while driving back from said pretty views. End of weekend.

I'm endeavoring to make this weekend as much fun, though the only concrete plan I have is homework. This is midly terrifying -- I have homework, and it may not be simple. I'm taking two classes (with a third starting in November). The first one is a marketing class taught according to a curriculum at the Haas MBA school at Berkeley. The second is an intro to Java class at Stanford. The third is (what else?) New Kingdom Egypt literature, also at Stanford. So, Mondays and Tuesdays (and eventually Thursdays) will be bad for me trying to do anything. Which is why I went to see a movie at 10pm last night. Never mind my propensity for staying up late in general anyway.

Ironically, I'm more awake after a week of not drinking caffeine (minus a small incident where I forgot that Dr Pepper contains caffeine and drank a full glass of it before being rather embarrassed) and sleeping too little than I have been when I used to drink lots of coffee and sleep too much. I'm wondering if the caffeine had some weird interaction with my body chemistry that didn't used to exist. Slowing metabolism? Who knows. In any case, I may just have to give up caffeine permanently, as much as I love coffee and tea. It also probably helps that Lou is staying in my apartment -- there's no way in hell *anyone* who broke in would get close enough to hurt me with Lou around. Probably this certainty is making me sleep better. Who knows?

I'm REI-bound in the next week or so. I'm likely going camping/hiking/somethingorother in Yosemite in a couple of weeks for a weekend. I'm terribly excited -- I miss being outdoors. And drinking tea (caffeinated or otherwise) in slightly cold weather. I'll never admit to sometimes liking being cold, but sometimes it's kind of nice, despite how much I'll complain about it.

I need to write a snippet, but I'm having problems thinking of something to write about. I write so much in my livejournal and was planning a DnD campaign for 6 months that I've kind of forgotten how to write about something that isn't terribly concrete. I really want to go home and sit in some crunchy leaves and write about being in Massachusetts sitting in a pile of crunchy leaves, but it's a long trip to write a snippet. I'm sure I'll think of something - suggestions are welcome, fiction & non-fiction alike.

Now I have Dido's "White Flag" stuck in my head. Have a video:


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December 2011

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